


Addams Family Values: Hazbin Hotel Edition

by FurbyDisaster53



Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [10]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Addams Family References, Alternate Universe - Addams Family Fusion, Baby, Crossover, F/M, Humor, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FurbyDisaster53/pseuds/FurbyDisaster53
Summary: When Alastor and Angel welcome a new baby to the family, they decide to hire a nanny to help around the house. They wind up hiring Seviathan Von Elderitch, and he he seems extremely interested in Charlie. However, he may have something sinister planned for the Addams Family....
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Seviathan Von Eldritch, Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel)/Octavia (Helluva Boss)
Series: Hazbin Hotel Movie Parodies [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974124
Comments: 81
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

It was a dark night. While the rest of the Addams Family was outside, Alastor and Angel were in the living room. Suddenly, Angel looked over at his husband. “Hey Al? I’m gonna have a baby,” Angel said.

“Yes darling, you told me,” Alastor smiled.

“No, I mean right now,” Angel replied. 

The next thing they knew, Angel was being carted down the hall in the hospital, with Alastor and the staff by his side. “Nurse, how close are the contractions?” the doctor asked. 

“Every fifteen seconds,” the nurse replied. 

“Mon Ange, are you in unbearable pain? Is it terrible? My darling, is it torture?” Alastor asked. 

“Oui,” Angel replied, a smirk on his face. Alastor sighed and began to kiss his husband’s hands. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the family was in the lobby, where a small imp child was rambling to them. “And then mommy kissed daddy, and the star told the stork. The stork flew down from Earth and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!” she explained. 

“Our parents are having a baby, too,” Nifty smiled. 

“They fucked,” Vaggie said, in a deadpan tone. 

As that happened, Angel was in the emergency room, where the doctors were hard at work. “Push, Mr. Addams!” one shouted. 

“Forceps!” another yelled, before grabbing the tool from Thing. 

“Mr. Addams, would you like anesthesia?” a doctor asked. 

“Nah, I’m good. But ask the kids,” Angel replied. 

“Mon cher,” Alastor whispered, before kissing Angel’s hands again.

“Il mio bambino,” Angel breathed, a content smile on his face. 

“Mr. Addams, the baby?” a doctor asked.

“Mi scusi?” Angel asked.

In the other room, Nifty and Vaggie were arguing. “It's a boy!” Nifty insisted.

“It’s a girl,” Vaggie replied. 

Just then, Alastor ran into the room, a genuine smile on his face.

“Alastor!” Charlie exclaimed.

“How’d it go?” Molly asked.

“Father, what is it?” Vaggie asked.

“It's an Addams!” cheered Alastor.


	2. Chapter 2

Alastor and Angel walked through the house, carrying their new baby girl. She was covered in soft white fur and had eyes like Angel’s, and she had red hair and a deer tail like Alastor. She squirmed in Angel’s arms as her parents smiled down at her. “I've arranged a little surprise, mon Ange. I do hope you enjoy it,” Alastor said.

He led Angel to a room, and opened the door. It was a dark nursery, filled with gruesome paintings, and there was a mobile with knives above the crib. “Awww, Al! It’s dark, depressing, creepy as fuck-,” Angel started, as he took in his surroundings. 

“Doesn’t it just scream ‘toddler’?” asked Alastor. 

“Hell yeah! It’s perfect,” Angel replied. 

“Come on then, darling,” Alastor smiled. 

The two walked into the nursery, and gently laid the new baby in her crib. The little girl began to cry softly, so Angel placed a realistic looking stuffed bear in the cradle. When he pushed a button, the bear roared, causing the baby to laugh. 

“Welcome home, ma petite fille,” Alastor said. 

Elsewhere, Nifty and Vaggie were sawing spindles off the stairs, and having a bit of an argument. “That can’t be true!” Nifty exclaimed. 

“Yes it is. When you have a new baby, one of the other kids have to die,” Vaggie explained. 

“Are you sure?” Nifty asked. 

“Yep. One of us has to go,” Vaggie replied. 

“Which one?” the cyclops asked. 

“Well, they only need one cute one,” Vaggie said, prompting Nifty to saw faster.

Meanwhile, Alastor, Angel, Molly, and Charlie were cooing over the baby. “Isn’t she precious? I think she has my mother’s eyes!” Alastor exclaimed.

“Al, get those outta her mouth,” Angel replied, as his husband quickly did so. 

“She’s so adorable!” Charlie smiled.

“Yeah! It’s about time we had a baby in the house,” Molly nodded, before holding out a finger to the little girl. “Hey, sweetie,” she cooed. 

At that moment, a flaming arrow rocketed out of the crib and landed in the ceiling. “Did ya see that?” Angel asked, smiling brightly. 

“She’s the cutest little devil!” Molly nodded, while Vaggie and Nifty watched the entire scene by the door. 

That evening, Vaggie and Nifty were up on the roof. Vaggie held the baby, while Nifty held a cannon ball. “Nifty, the baby weighs ten pounds, and the cannon ball weighs twenty pounds. What's going to hit the ground first?” Vaggie asked. 

“Oh! Um….I'm still on fractions,” Nifty admitted. 

“Just make a guess,” Vaggie replied. 

“The cannonball?” Nifty asked.

“Good! That’s right,” Vaggie smiled, before pausing for a moment. “But which one will bounce?” she asked. 

“The baby?” Nifty asked. 

“Only one way to find out,” Vaggie said, as the two held their objects over the side. “One….two….three!” she shouted, as the baby and cannonball were dropped. 

Inside, Alastor and Angel were in their bedroom. “What a wonderful evening,” Alastor sighed. 

“Rain,” smiled Angel.

Alastor opened the window, and coincidentally caught his daughter before she could hit the ground. “Mon Ange!” Alastor exclaimed, as he turned to him. 

Angel saw his husband holding the baby, and knew just what was going on. “Ah, shit,” he muttered.

Outside, Husk was tending to the yard, when the cannon ball fell on his head. “Fuck!” he yelled.


	3. Chapter 3

After the cannon ball incident, Alastor and Angel sat down with their daughters. “Girls, why do you hate the baby?” Alastor asked. 

“Oh, we don’t hate her! We just want to play with her!” Nifty smiled. 

“Especially her head,” Vaggie nodded.

“Darlings, do you think we love the baby more than you?” Alastor asked.

Neither girl answered, so Angel spoke up. “Do ya think that when a new baby gets there, another kid’s gotta die?” he asked.

“Yes,” the girls nodded. 

“Awww, that's silly! That isn’t true. Anymore…” Molly said. 

“It’s just sibling rivalry. Al, do you remember what we were like?” Charlie smiled. “I hated you!” she exclaimed. 

“I despised you!” Alastor grinned. 

“I stole all his Halloween candy!” Charlie yelled. 

“Your idea of torture always was adorable,” Alastor chuckled. “Meanwhile, I tied her to a tree and pulled out four of her permanent teeth,” he continued.

“Hey! I did good torture. Like….when you were asleep, I opened your skull and removed your brains!” Charlie proudly stated. 

“No dear, you didn’t,” Alastor smiled, before pausing. “Did you?” he asked. 

The two of them just laughed. “Brother!” Charlie exclaimed. 

“Sister!” Alastor replied. 

Then he threw Charlie against the wall, and tossed knives at her, all narrowly missing her body. The blonde was giggling the whole time. “See, girls? Siblings are the best!” she said.

Later, the girls were playing in Nifty’s room. "Death! Death to the enemies of the people of the republic," Vaggie said.

Nifty nodded and released the guillotine, slicing a watermelon in half. “Good. Justice is served. Now...bring forward the evil one,” Vaggie ordered. 

Nifty brought over their baby sister, who was in an ornate gown. “You have betrayed the people of France. You are a soulless, pure evil, scum sucking, bitch. How do you plead?” Vaggie asked.

“Guilty!” Nifty replied, answering for the baby girl. 

“Guilty by her own admission! The sentence is death. Executioner, place her on the block,” said Vaggie. 

Nifty placed the little girl on the guillotine, and positioned her so the blade would chop off her head. “One….two…..” Vaggie started. 

“Kids, what are ya doing?” Angel called.

“Playing!” the girls replied.

“Three!” Vaggie yelled, before releasing the blade. 

Unfortunately for them, the baby held up her hand and stopped the blade before it fell on her, and she was left without a scratch. “Awww!” Nifty griped. 

The baby just giggled, and her little deer tail began to wag happily. 

“Woe to the republic,” Vaggie sighed.

As the children played their game, Alastor and Angel went out to sit in the cemetery. “Oh cher...Look at you. Midnight, moonlight, surrounded by death. You may have never looked more beautiful,” the deer said, causing Angel to smile softly. 

“It's been too long…..about three weeks,” he said. 

The two of them leaned in for a kiss, but got distracted by the sounds of their daughters shouting inside and the breaking of glass. 

“One house, three kids….so many windows,” Angel muttered. 

“Darling, it's you I'm worried about. The stress, all of the fighting…” Alastor started. 

“I’m gonna be fine! I'm just like any other guy trying to have it all. Incredible husband, a family. But sometimes I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade, y’know?” Angel asked.

“You can! You must! And so it will be,” Alastor smiled, before another window broke. 

“But how?” Angel asked.

“We hire a nanny!” Alastor exclaimed.

The family interviewed many nannies, but none of them worked out. They were just about to give up, but then a young man showed up at the house. Husk got the door, and the boy walked in and started looking around. “Hey there! Addams residence, right?” he asked, looking around. “Wow, it's old...and big,” he smirked, looking back at Husk.

“Fuck off,” Husk muttered, as Angel walked in.

“Who the hell are you?” the spider asked.

“Hey! I'm Seviathan Von Elderitch, from the agency,” the boy smiled

“The agency? They told us nobody else was available. Suggested we get a Doberman,” Angel replied. 

“Surprise! I've just been out of town. You know, super busy. You’re the dad?” Seviathan asked. 

“Yeah, I’m Mr. Addams,” nodded Angel. 

“I like your dress. It's tight; it’s hot!” Seviathan smiled. 

“Thanks!” Angel replied, as Alastor walked over. “Al! I think we just found ourselves a nanny. This Von Elderitch kid,” he explained.

“Just call me Seviathan! No need for formalities,” he said, before shaking Alastor’s hand. “Well, aren’t you a guy-killer?” he grinned. 

“Acquitted actually!” Alastor replied. 

“If you want, I can show you all my references. To prove I'm not a homicidal maniac or anything,” Seviathan said.

“Course ya ain’t,” Angel said. 

“You're too young,” Alastor nodded. 

As the couple talked with Seviathan, Charlie watched from the other room, and instantly fell in love. Angel walked back over with the baby, and Seviathan smiled.

“Oh, is that the little critter?” he asked.

“Hell no, this is our baby,” Angel replied.

“She's adorable. She's perfect. What's her name?” asked Seviathan. 

“It was a tough choice. We went through all the usual baby names…” Angel started.

“Amelia, Scarlette, Veronica...” Alastor said. 

“But we thought about it, and decided on something a kid could live with,” Angel smiled. 

“Melody,” Alastor said. 

“Melody...I like it. It’s….cute. May I hold her?” Seviathan asked. 

“Is that suit of yours flammable?” Alastor asked. 

“Ya had ya shots, right?” Angel asked. The boy nodded, and Angel placed his daughter in his arms. 

“Awww. I love kids. I just want to grab them tight and squeeze them until there's not a breath left in their tiny little bodies,” Seviathan sighed, as Alastor and Angel shared a look.

“Hello, Melody. I love you,” Seviathan cooed, as the little girl looked up at him, a smile on her face. ‘They have no idea what they’re in for...’ Seviathan thought.


	4. Chapter 4

The girls were in Nifty’s room, burning a doll with a blowtorch, when Angel opened the door as Alastor and Seviathan followed him in. “Kids, this is Seviathan, our new nanny. What do we say?” Angel asked.

“Be afraid. Be very afraid,” Vaggie deadpanned. 

“Aww, look at you two! Stuck in this house with a new baby. That's not easy, is it?” asked Seviathan.

“No,” Nifty admitted.

“Sometimes you wish it was still just the two of you, huh?” Seviathan asked.

“Or less,” Vaggie replied. 

“Well, don't worry about a thing! Everything's going to be just fine,” Seviathan smiled, just as Thing jumped onto his shoulder. 

“Thing, cut that out,” Angel ordered.

“I suppose he likes you,” Alastor smiled.

Seviathan smiled and kissed Thing on the finger, causing the hand to faint. “I'm good with my hands,” the boy grinned, as he and the couple went back into the main room.

“What an interesting family! But I think there's one member I haven't met yet,” Seviathan said, as he looked over at Charlie, who was hiding by the stairs. “Hello there, gorgeous,” he smirked, causing Charlie to blush. 

“Your niece?” Seviathan asked, looking at Alastor. 

“My sister!” the deer answered. 

“No!” Seviathan smiled.

“Charlie, come out here!” Angel called. “She can be shy sometimes,” he explained, as Charlie nervously walked over. “Charlie, this is Seviathan Von Elderitch, our new nanny,” explained Angel.

“Nice to meet you, Charlie,” Seviathan said, causing the blonde to give him an awkward wave. “These Addamses, where do you find them?” he asked Angel. 

“It has to be damp,” Angel replied. 

“I can't wait. I'll start first thing tomorrow!” Seviathan exclaimed.

At that, Melody fell from the second floor, right into Alastor’s arms. “Why not tonight?” he asked. 

Naturally Seviathan agreed, and so that night he went to sleep in the guest bedroom. Meanwhile, Alastor was with Charlie in her room. “So we've hired Seviathan Von Elderitch….” she smiled.

“He’s perfectly charming, wouldn’t you agree?” Alastor asked. 

“He’s perfect!” Charlie nodded. 

“Oh, Charlie, I'm such a lucky man. I hope that someday you'll experience that beautiful feeling of having children and of paying someone else to raise them,” Alastor said. 

“Well….I mean…..wouldn't I have to get married first?” Charlie asked. 

“You're still young. There's plenty of time, my dear! You'll meet someone, someone very special, someone who would like musicals as much as you,” Alastor smiled. 

“I’d love that,” Charlie sighed. 

“You’ll find them. Someday,” Alastor said, before leaving.

As soon as he was gone, Charlie thought more and more about how Seviathan just might be the one for her.

Meanwhile, the nanny was in his room, absentmindedly watching TV. “Tonight on America's Most Disgusting Unsolved Crimes, we investigate the case of Elliot...Todd...and Chad. Three very different men with one thing in common--murder! And they're all the same man. He's known by the police as the Black Widow,” the reporter explained.

Seviathan rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake, its WIDOWER. Widows are girls…” he muttered. 

“He mates, then he kills. He investigates wealthy women, finding the richest, loneliest bachelorettes, gaining their trust and their love, and finally, he marries them. Then, on the wedding night, he kills them. The deaths appear accidental. After the funeral, he disappears, cash in hand, but the money never lasts. Soon the Black Widow is hungry again, hungry for cash, hungry for love. A master of disguise, he's eluded the authorities for years. Who is he, and what seemingly innocent pose will he next assume? All we can say is...bachelorettes, beware,” the reporter finished. 

The next morning, Alastor and Angel were getting ready to leave. They walked over to Seviathan, who was holding Melody. “We’re gonna be out for most of the morning. Here’s the important numbers--police, fire department, morgue,” Angel said, as he handed Seviathan a slip of paper. 

“Come along, Charlie!” Alastor called, making his sister rush down the stairs. 

“Goodbye, Charlie,” Seviathan purred.

“Say goodbye to Seviathan!” Alastor yelled.

Charlie attempted to say goodbye, but all that came out were flustered murmurs. She ran out the door, and the couple followed behind her. “Have fun!” Seviathan smiled, as the door closed. 

Later that day, Melody was crawling around as Seviathan looked over the Addams’ financial records. “Charlotte Addams…...what a lovely prize. Stocks and bonds...deeds...gold bullion,” he muttered. 

Just then, Seviathan heard a noise. He looked around, but he and the baby were still the only ones in the room. “Oh well. Treasury bills...IRAs,” he smiled, before hearing another noise. “What an odd old house. It's so drafty. It's really no place for children. Not one bit,” he said, spotting Vaggie in her hiding place.

Afterwards, Seviathan was trying to change Melody’s diaper, but the fawn kept squirming and giggling. “Hold still, you fucking brat!” he yelled. 

“She isn’t a brat,” Vaggie said, stepping into the room. 

“Oh of course she isn’t! She’s a sweet little baby,” Seviathan smiled.

“Fine. Rub it in,” Vaggie said. 

“I’m just getting her all ready for a nice walk. Would you like to come too?” he asked. 

“Are you really a nanny?” Vaggie asked. 

“What the hell sort of a question is that?” Seviathan asked. 

“Why did you come here?” asked Vaggie. 

“To take care of you all,” Seviathan replied. 

“Especially my Aunt?” Vaggie asked. 

Vaggie walked out of the room, and Seviathan realized he would have to do something to take care of the kids. Luckily for him, he got the perfect idea.

When Angel and Alastor came home, he sat them down and decided to tell them a little lie. “I shouldn't be telling you this. They swore me to secrecy, the little sweethearts, but they really want to go. It's all they talked about all morning. They're just afraid to ask you. Poor little girls are afraid you'll think they don't love you if they ask,” Seviathan explained. 

“It is such a fucked up request,” Angel said. 

“Positively terrifying,” Alastor agreed. 

“But they have their little hearts set on it. I knew you'd want to know as concerned, loving parents,” Seviathan smiled. 

“Oh bambino, what are we gonna do?” Angel asked. 

“Well if our darlings want it this badly, how can we refuse?” Alastor asked. 

“Don't even mention it to them! Make it a surprise! I'm sure they'll deny everything, bless their little hearts. But I know for a fact they wanna go,” Seviathan said. 

Alastor and Angel shared a look with one another, then sighed. “Summer camp,” they said.


	5. Chapter 5

The Addams family drove to Camp Chippewa, to drop off Nifty and Vaggie. “Camp Chippewa. How interesting," Angel muttered.

“What’s a Chippewa?” Nifty asked. 

“It's an old Indian word,” Alastor replied. 

“It means orphan,” Vaggie added. 

Soon enough the family reached the camp, and they looked around at the other campers. Needless to say, the Addamses stood out in their dark attire. “Fresh air...the scent of pine. It’s sickening,” Alastor said, as he handed Nifty a cigarette. 

“Girls, look at all of the other kids. Their bright eyes, friendly attitudes, cutesy outfits…..Help them,” Angel said. 

Just then, a girl walked over, dressed in bright pink. “Hi, my name is Velvet Buckman. Why the hell are you dressed like that?” she asked. 

“Like what?” Vaggie asked.

“Like you're going to a funeral. All of you are dressed like somebody died,” Velvet said. 

“Wait for it,” Vaggie replied. 

Just then, a man walked over with cheap, heart shaped sunglasses. “Hello there. Valentino Buckman, good to meet you all. Isn't this place something else? You know, a child has to be exceptional to get in. My little red Velvet cake has already skipped two grades. What about your girl?” he asked, looking over Nifty.

“Probation!” Alastor smiled, as Nifty happily nodded. 

“We just love Chippewa. Velvet couldn't wait. It's all she talked about. Even got her a whole new wardrobe. And this little lady?” Valentino asked, looking at Vaggie. 

“Vaggie's at that one age when a kid’s got only one thing on the brain,” Angel said. 

“Dating?” Valentino asked.

“Homicide,” Vaggie answered. 

Just then, two Imps ran out to greet the crowd. “Um, hello, everybody! I’m Moxxie,” the man said. 

“And I'm Millie!” the woman exclaimed. 

“And we are the owners and directors here at Camp Chippewa! The Pentagram’s best summer camp for privileged young adults,” Moxxie said. 

“That’s right! And we're all here to learn, to grow, and just plain have fun!” smiled Millie. 

“'Cause that's what summer camp and being privileged is all about!” Moxxie added. 

As the kids went to greet each other, one owlet stayed by her father and away from the crowd. “Dad, I think I hate it here,” she said. 

“Oh Octavia, you’ll love it! I’m sure. You might be able to make a few new friends! Now, are you certain you have everything you need?” Stolas asked. 

“Yes, Dad. I’m sure,” Octavia answered.

“Good, now remember-,” Stolas started.

However Octavia stopped paying attention. She spotted Vaggie nearby, and the two girls stared at one another for a while, possibly smitten already. “Hey,” Vaggie said.

“Hey,” Octavia replied. 

Later, at the Addams mansion, Seviathan was reading to Melody. "’Everyone at the ball turned and stared at Cinderella. ‘Who is that beautiful woman?’ everyone asked. Even Prince Charming noticed the new arrival’,” he read.

Charlie was listening in from the doorway. She loved hearing him read and seeing him be so good with the baby. They just became more things she loved about him. Seviathan noticed her standing there, but he kept reading.

“‘‘Who is that remarkable woman?’ the prince asked, as he looked at her’,” Seviathan read, before he decided to add in a few lines of his own. “‘That fascinating woman, that undeniably sexy woman, that woman who deserves all my love and attention. I just want to make her my own and treat her like the absolute fucking queen that she is. That blonde woman’,” he said. 

Charlie gasped and her face turned bright red, then she ran off. Seviathan smiled smugly, then he heard Melody babbling. “Relax, Bambi. I’ll get back to your damn book,” he muttered, before he kept reading. 

Alastor was in his office, throwing knives at a target Husk was holding, when Charlie burst in. “He’s driving me crazy!” she exclaimed.

“Who?” Alastor asked, before throwing another knife. 

“Seviathan! Seviathan. Geez, even his name is incredible! He makes me think of chemicals,” she sighed. 

“My dear, Charlie! Has it finally happened, at long last?” asked Alastor. 

“I don't know, but I think so!” she replied, watching as her brother tossed another knife. All these years I've watched you and Angel through windows, doorways, keyholes. Oh! But not in a creepy way. I've been so happy for you, but I was a little jealous too. I've dreamed that sometime there might be someone for me,” Charlie continued. 

“There’s Thing!” Alastor smiled, as the sentient hand gave them a wave. 

“Well, I know, but I want more. Legs, elbows, a head!” Charlie returned. 

“Two legs?” Alastor asked. 

“Should I ask Seviathan to dinner? What if he says no? What if he says yes?! Al, If I asked him, would you come, you and Angel, please?” Charlie asked. 

“Of course!” Alastor replied, before turning to throw a knife behind his back. Husk wasn’t ready, and wound up accidentally swallowing it. 

“Shit!” he yelled. 

Back at the summer camp, all the kids were on the dock in their swimsuits. “Okay, everybody! Time for life saving!” Moxxie smiled, as he looked over his small crowd. “Now, I know most of you are decent swimmers already, so today you all get to show your stuff and earn some certificates! Our first pair up will be….Velvet and Vaggie,” he said.

Velvet and Vaggie walked over, Velvet in a pink bikini and Vaggie in a black wetsuit. “Is that your bathing suit?” Velvet sneered.

“Is that your overbite?” Vaggie returned. 

“Hey, hey! Calm down, you two. This is supposed to be fun, remember? Okay, one of you will be the drowning victim. The other one will be our lifesaver,” Moxxie explained.

“I'll be the victim,” Velvet smiled.

“All your life,” muttered Vaggie.

“I'm an actress,” Velvet continued, ignoring the other girl’s comment. 

“Oh that’s cool! So Velvet, jump in, swim out a few yards, and start drowning,” Moxxie said. 

Velvet nodded and did as she was told. “Help me! Help me!” she called.

Vaggie did absolutely nothing, even after Moxxie motioned for her to go in. “I'm drowning! Help me! I'm dying! FUCKING SAVE ME ALREADY!” Velvet shouted, but the moth still didn’t move.

“I can't swim,” Vaggie deadpanned, leaving Velvet under the water.

“......she’ll be fine, right?” Moxxie asked.


	6. Chapter 6

That night, Angel, Alastor, Charlie, and Seviathan had their group date. “It's our favorite bistro. We've been coming here for years,” Alastor smiled.

“Course, it was redone,” Angel shrugged.

“Oh, it's just...fantastic. Isn't it, Charlie?” Seviathan asked.

Charlie sat there absolutely terrified, and she ate a piece of bread to avoid conversation. “Charlie?” Alastor asked.

Charlie took a deep breath, and handed her bread to Seviathan. “Aww, would ya look at that. It’s an old custom, ya know. Sharing half-eaten bread,” Angel smiled.

“Charlie is extremely experienced. She spent several years traveling,” Alastor explained. 

“Yep. She speaks twelve languages fluently,” Angel added.

“I could tell. When I first saw her, I could have sworn she was from Europe,” Seviathan smiled.

“You did?” Charlie asked. 

“That’s right,” Seviathan nodded.

“But I took a bath,” the blonde said. 

Later, Angel and Seviathan were in the bathroom. “Charlie really is a sweet gal. She can just be shy sometimes,” Angel said. 

“I just can't tell...does she like me at all?” Seviathan asked. 

“I know she does! Hell, not long after first meeting ya, she vomited,” Angel said.

“Does she always do that with people she likes?” asked Seviathan. 

“Nope. Just ya,” Angel smiled.

“.....ah,” Seviathan said.

Back at the table, Charlie was in a panic. “Do you think I’m doing okay? I feel like I’m screwing up,” she said. 

“Oh no, my dear! You’re doing wonderfully,” Alastor replied. 

“Alastor, how do you do it? Teach me your ways. Teach me to be suave like you!” Charlie pleaded. 

“Woo him, admire him, make him feel like the most marvelous being in existence,” Alastor explained.

“Yes! That’s all?” Charlie asked, just as Seviathan and Angel walked back over. 

“We're back,” Angel smiled.

Alastor and Charlie got up, and each pulled out a chair for their dates. “Charlie my dear, we are the luckiest siblings in Hell. We are unworthy of such magnificence, undeserving of such beauty,” Alastor said.

“Uhhh yes! Right. We should have...ugly dates!” Charlie exclaimed, genuinely trying her hardest.

Just then, violin music could be heard. Alastor smiled and took off his coat, then he went over to Angel and held out a hand. Angel smirked and took his husband’s hand, and Alastor led the two of them onto the dance floor. Alastor twirled Angel, then trailed kisses along the spider’s top pair of arms. 

The music picked up in intensity, and the two of them danced an intricate and passionate tango. Alastor had his back turned for a second, and Angel flirted with a patron at a nearby table. The deer saw, and spun Angel across the dance floor, then the two were back in each other’s arms. 

Alastor lit a nearby woman’s cigarette, then he did a flip over to a table, and grabbed the tablecloth off of it. Angel found nearby castanets, and he started clicking them as Alastor twirled the cloth around. Angel picked up a knife and tossed it towards his husband, and Alastor caught it in his teeth. 

Alastor put the tablecloth and knife down, and he and Angel embraced one another as they danced once again. Their dance ended with Alastor dipping Angel, and the two of them kissing. At that, every champagne bottle in the room popped open, and people applauded as the two of them kept kissing.

Meanwhile, at the summer camp, Velvet and the other girls in the cabin were telling a ghost story. “And then the ghost said, ‘And I will haunt you forever!’” Velvet exclaimed.

The others gasped, and Vaggie just rolled her eyes. “Vaggie, you need to continue the story,” Velvet said. 

“This is stupid,” Vaggie returned.

“Well….if you’re too much of a fucking baby,” Velvet smirked.

Vaggie glared at her and started the story. “And, so, the next night, the ghost returned to the haunted cabin, and he said to the campers, ‘None of you really believe in me so I'll have to prove my power.’ And the next morning, when the campers woke up, all of their old noses had grown back,” she said, causing all of the girls to release a genuine, terrified scream. 

Elsewhere, Seviathan and Charlie were taking a stroll through the graveyard after their date. “Oh Charlie, you must hate me,” he sighed. 

“What? What do you mean?” Charlie asked. 

“Here you are, a gorgeous, talented woman. You probably think I’m a boring asshat,” Seviathan replied. 

“I couldn’t! I love you!” Charlie exclaimed. 

“In that case….Charlie, before we go any further, I need to tell you a secret. I’m a virgin,” said Seviathan. 

“You are?” Charlie asked.

“Yep,” Seviathan nodded. 

“What's that?” Charlie asked. 

Seviathan looked at her like she was stupid, then he sighed. “It’s someone who never fucked anybody,” he said. 

“Oh. Well me too!” Charlie smiled. 

“What? You haven’t? With your looks, your personality, people must follow you everywhere,” Seviathan said. 

“Store detectives,” Charlie replied, giving him a nervous chuckle. 

“Charlie, I always dreamed of meeting someone untouched, someone pure,   
someone perfect for me, someone...just like you,” Seviathan purred. 

“Um….you….um….really?” Charlie stammered. 

“And I dreamed that when I met her, that we would wait until our wedding night to give ourselves to one another, to break out the ropes and handcuffs, to make the ultimate sacrifice…..” Seviathan continued. 

“A goat?” Charlie innocently asked.

“Until now I thought it was bullshit,but, Charlie Addams, I love you,” Seviathan said. 

“You do?” Charlie asked, her face turning bright red. 

“Please, be honest babe, I have to know how you feel about me,” Seviathan replied. 

“I love you! More than anything! More than musicals even! I'd do anything for you. I'd pay. You make me the happiest girl in Hell when I’m with you!” Charlie smiled. 

“Charlie!” Seviathan exclaimed.

“Seviathan!” Charlie returned.

The two of them embraced, and then cuddled in the graveyard, under the moonlight.

As they did, Alastor and Angel had just put Melody to bed. “Look at her,” Alastor sighed. 

“So peaceful,” Angel smiled, as they gazed at the sleeping fawn that had a muzzle on her face. 

“Tonight, when I watched Charlie and Seviathan, I kept my fingers crossed. I hoped that they would fall in love,” Alastor said. 

“That they could know happiness,” Angel continued. 

“That they could adopt,” Alastor replied, just before Charlie burst in the room. 

“Alastor, Angel! I have the best news ever! Something amazing happened!” Charlie smiled. 

“Oh! Ya rash went away?” Angel asked.

“Better! I'm engaged!” Charlie exclaimed. 

Seviathan walked in the room, and showed off the large diamond ring on his hand. “That ring….” Angel started. 

“It was our mother's. She was buried with it,” Alastor said. 

Seviathan said nothing, he only smiled and held up a shovel.

“He’s amazing!” Charlie smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

Vaggie and Nifty were in a cabin at the summer camp, positively dead inside, when Moxxie and Millie walked into the cabin with letters. “Mail call! Okay, Addams,” Moxxie said, as he handed Vaggie a letter. 

“Bosco, Franco, Harris, Kovach, Lauer, Marie,” Millie continued, as she passed out letters. 

Vaggie tore her letter open, and gasped at what she saw inside. “Oh fuck,” she muttered. 

“What is it?” Nifty asked.

“This is bullshit!” Vaggie shouted. 

“Is something wrong, Vaggie? Bad news?” Millie asked.

“Yes! An absolute un-fucking believable travesty! Aunt Charlie is getting married,” Vaggie answered. 

“A wedding? But that’s great news! Weddings are incredible,” Moxxie said, making Millie smile and kiss his cheek. 

“Who’s she marrying?” Velvet asked. 

“The nanny,” replied Vaggie.

“Oh shit! I'd kill myself. The help?” Velvet asked. 

“I'm sure the nanny is very nice,” Millie said. 

“I think that's fucking disgusting. I think their whole family's some weird ass experiment. They’re all a bunch of circus freaks!” Velvet yelled. 

“What did you just say?” Nifty asked, as she took a step closer to Velvet. 

“Everyone! Calm down. Know what we do in times like this? Group hug!” Millie exclaimed.

All of the campers hugged apart from Vaggie and Nifty, so Moxxie cautiously stepped over to them. “Vaggie, Nifty, will a hug hurt us?” he asked. 

“We don't hug,” Vaggie deadpanned.

“Aw, sweetie it’s okay! They’re just shy,” Millie smiled.

“We're not shy,” Nifty said. 

“We're contagious,” Vaggie added.

Moxxie was starting to get uncomfortable, and he took a step away. “Okay…..I'm sensing some tension here, something uh…..NOT okay,” he said. 

“Moxxie, they’ll be fine! They just need good friends and good fun!” Millie replied.

“Or…...you could send them to the Harmony Hut,” Velvet grinned.

“Uh….Velvet? I’m not sure if this calls for THAT,” Moxxie stammered.

“Oh really? Do you want these little witch bitches to cut off your fingers while you sleep or some shit?” Velvet asked.

“Harmony Hut it is,” Moxxie sighed.

Soon, Vaggie and Nifty were taken to a small cabin filled with stuffed toys and inspirational posters. “How long do we have to stay in here?” Nifty asked.

“Until we crack,” Vaggie replied.

Just then, the door opened, and Octavia walked in. “What are you in for?” Vaggie asked.

“I wouldn't go horseback riding or make a damn friendship bracelet,” Octavia answered.

“Why not?” Vaggie asked.

“I wanted to read,” Octavia replied, before spotting a Michael Jackson poster. “We’re going to fucking die here, aren’t we?” she asked.

“Not on my watch,” Vaggie replied. 

That night, Vaggie, Nifty, and Octavia decided to sneak out of camp. “Hurry up!” Vaggie whispered. 

“I’m ready!” Nifty replied, as she started to climb the fence.

“Wait! I am not letting either of you get tetanus,” Octavia said, as she took out a pair of wire cutters and tried using them on the fence. 

“There they are!” shouted a voice.

The kids turned and saw Velvet, Millie, Moxxie, and the rest of the camp walk over to them. “I saw them sneak out,” Velvet grinned. 

“Um….what….what are you doing?” Moxxie asked. 

“We have to see our family. It's important,” Vaggie replied. 

“More important than summer fun? More important than making new friends? More important than FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS?” Millie asked. 

“Octavia Glicker? I didn’t expect to see you out here,” Moxxie said. 

“I have to get out of here. I can’t put up with this anymore,” Octavia stated. 

“But we just wanna help you have a fun time!” Millie exclaimed. 

“Well you fucking failed!” Octavia yelled. Vaggie hadn’t expected Octavia to stand up for herself like this, and Vaggie couldn’t help but keep finding new things she liked about the owlette.

“I think they should be punished!” Velvet shouted.

“No! We are not here to punish. We are here to inspire,” Millie said.

“Wait! I know just what these kids need!” Moxxie smiled. 

“What?” Octavia asked.

To the three kids’ horror, Moxxie pulled out his guitar. Everyone began singing Kumbaya, and Vaggie never wanted to escape more than she did at that very moment.

Back at the Addams’ house, the family was celebrating the engagement. “So, Seviathan, did ya meet everyone?” Angel asked.

Before Seviathan could answer, Mimzy hurried over to them, pushing a stroller. “Angel!” she exclaimed. 

“Mimzy! Good to see ya! Mimzy, this is Seviathan. The lucky guy,” Angel said. 

“Welcome to our family! You know, joining the Addams clan meant so much to me. Have you met my husband Arackniss?” Mimzy asked. 

“Um….I don’t think so….” Seviathan replied. 

“We've been so happy! And around the same time Melody was born, Arackniss and I got our own little stranger,” Mimzy smiled, as she turned the baby stroller so they could see the baby. The baby was a hairy spider like Arackniss, and you couldn’t even see their face. “What,” Mimzy said, as the baby made cooing noises.

“I didn't say anything,” Seviathan replied. 

“No silly! That’s the baby's nickname, What. That’s what the doctor said to him the day he was born,” Mimzy sighed. 

“Awww! He’s so cute! And a dead ringer for Nissy,” Angel smiled. 

“I know! We've had offers,” Mimzy replied. 

Elsewhere in the house, Charlie was celebrating with Alastor and some other family members. “I don’t know what to say! You’re all the best friends a girl could want,” Charlie smiled. 

“And now for the piece de resistance!” Alastor exclaimed, as Husk pushed in a large cake. “Ta-da!” Alastor announced, motioning to the cake. When nothing happened, he did it again. “Ta-da!” he repeated. Nothing happened again, so Alastor walked over to Husk and took the top off of the cake to look inside. “That poor girl,” he said. “Husker, was she in there before you baked?” Alastor asked. 

“Damnit, I knew I forgot something!” Husk exclaimed. 

“Well, c'est la vie! Now, who wants a slice?” Alsstor smiled. 

While everyone was enjoying the party, Vaggie and Octavia were sitting by the lake. “So, why’d you come here?” Vaggie asked. 

“My dad doesn’t think I get out enough. What about you?” Octavia asked. 

“Sent away by an evil nanny because I knew too much,” Vaggie replied. 

“Ohhh okay. If it’s any consolation, I’m glad you’re here. This place would really suck without you,” Octavia said. 

“It would suck without you too,” Vaggie said. She thought about it for a moment, then cautiously moved a bit closer to Octavia. “Can I ask you something?” she asked.

“Sure. What?” Octavia asked. 

“Do you believe in the existence of evil?” asked Vaggie. 

“Well, have you met my dad’s lover?” Octavia asked. 

“My Aunt Charlie's about to get married to this bastard in a cheap suit,” Vaggie explained.

“A lawyer?” Octavia asked. 

“A nanny. I got a pass from camp to go to the wedding. Want to come?” Vaggie asked. 

“You mean….like a date?” Octavia asked, nervous about the idea.

“No,” Vaggie answerd. 

“I'd love to,” Octavia smiled, causing Vaggie to smile back.


	8. Chapter 8

The night of the wedding soon arrived, and every member of the Addams clan arrived at the ceremony. Husk was poorly playing the organ as the procession began. Vaggie walked along the aisle, dropping black rose petals. Nifty followed her sister, carrying Thing who was holding the rings. 

Charlie walked down the aisle, wearing a gorgeous red wedding dress and carrying a white bouquet, and her long blonde hair was in an elegant bun. She looked beautiful and serene on the outside, but inside, she was absolutely terrified. She had no idea how someone like her could be marrying someone as wonderful as Seviathan.

Charlie finally reached the podium, and she and Seviathan stood across from one another as Arackniss began to officiate the wedding. He spoke in the usual gibberish, and soon it was time for the vows. 

Charlie took a deep breath, and gave Seviathan a shy smile. “I, Charlotte Addams, do hereby declare my unending love. You make me the happiest girl in the world. All I want to do is love you, forever and always. I want to make you happy as you make me. You are precious, wonderful, charming, and just absolutely perfect to me. I want to cherish you until the day I double die. And I’m absolutely thrilled to become your wife, and be with you always,” she said.

Seviathan looked at her a moment. He had put no thought into his vows at all, so he just gave her a smile. “Yeah, same,” he said. 

The ceremony ended, and the guests began to cheer. Seviathan and Charlie headed to the wedding car, hand in hand. “You’ll have a brilliant life together,” Alastor smiled. 

“Yes, I am,” Seviathan nodded. 

“Time to see who’s the next lucky girl!” Charlie exclaimed, before tossing her bouquet. 

The women fought for it, but miraculously, Vaggie ended up with it. “So now you have to get married,” Octavia said. 

“It isn’t binding,” Vaggie replied. 

“Slut,” muttered a random family member. 

Charlie and Seviathan got in the car and drove off, as the family continued to cheer. 

After the wedding, Seviathan and Charlie went on a Hawaiin honeymoon. Charlie was soaking in the bath while her new husband stood nearby. “The key ingredient to a successful Hawaiian honeymoon is romantic music,” Seviathan explained. 

He grabbed a boombox and played the music. “Isn’t it romantic? Pretty sexy right?” he asked.

“It’s wonderful. What’s it called?” Charlie asked.

“‘A Little Accident’. Don’t you like romantic living?” Seviathan asked.

“I do! I love it, and I love being with you,” Charlie smiled.

“And I ADORE romantic living! But Charlie, how much do you really love me?” asked Seviathan.

“With all my soul!” the girl replied.

“Would you do ANYTHING for me?!” Seviathan shouted.

“Yes! I would!” Charlie nodded.

“Would you double die for me?” Seviathan whispered.

“In a heartbeat,” Charlie answered.

Seviathan grinned and dropped the boombox in the water. Charlie screamed as she was electrocuted, and all of the lights in the bathroom went out, some of the bulbs falling into the tub. Once they were in total darkness, Seviathan smiled. “Oh darling…...” he said.

Just then, a light appeared, and he saw Charlie with a glowing bulb in her mouth. “You have to try this jacuzzi tub! It’s amazing!” she exclaimed.

Later, Seviathan was lying in bed, and Charlie walked over. “Sweetheart? I know you’re nervous, I am too,” she said, blush covering her face.

“I’m not nervous. I’m fucking pissed off,” Seviathan returned.

“What for? Oh! Is it the bathtub? Sweetie, it’s okay! I know you didn’t mean it. I liked it!” Charlie smiled. 

“I know,” Seviathan replied.

“Then we can put it behind us, and worry about this. It’s as new to me as it is to you,” said Charlie. 

“Charlie, have you actually NEVER had sex?” Seviathan asked.

“Nope,” Charlie said.

“Then how do you know we aren’t having it right now?” Seviathan asked.

“We'll be just like Alastor and Angel. Pretend we're at home in my room--Molly down the hallway, Husk by the door….” Charlie smiled. 

“Oh fuck,” Seviathan muttered. 

“Seviathan? Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Charlie asked. 

Seviathan smirked and sat up, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Only you, my dearest,” he purred. 

“Really?” Charlie asked. 

“Charlie, I'm ready. Just one thing…” Seviathan started.

“Alastor told me! No giggling,” Charlie said. 

“And?” Seviathan smirked. 

“No hand puppets!” Charlie replied. 

“What the fuck? Okay, AND?” Seviathan asked.

“Um….no crying?” Charlie asked. 

“After we fuck, you can never see your family again,” Seviathan explained.

“What?” Charlie asked. 

“Remember what you said? You wanted to be with me always? You can’t do that with a family hanging over you like an old, dead goose. Besides, how can I give myself to you if I know you’re still theirs? I want to be able to know that you’re mine,” Seviathan said, trying to be seductive. 

“Unless I never see my family again?” asked Charlie. 

“I’ve already given myself to you. It isn’t as if you see my family. Isn’t it fair you do the same? Don’t you love me?” Seviathan asked. 

“I do,” Charlie whispered. 

“Don't you want me?” Seviathan purred.

“Yes,” Charlie nodded.

Seviathan grinned, before pulling his new wife into a deep and passionate kiss, pushing her down onto the mattress. Charlie felt her face heat up when Seviathan began to take off his robe. “Never, darling?” he asked.

“N-Never,” Charlie stammered.

Seviathan smirked again, and then the two of them got down to business. 

Back at the Addams house, Angel and Alastor were together, taking care of Melody. 

“It's been a while since we heard from Charlie and Seviathan,” Angel said, as Alastor got a spoonful of raw, bloody beef. 

“It's believe it’s been nearly a week,” Alastor said, before bringing the meat towards Melody’s mouth, and the baby ate it happily. “Yes! Wonderful, little darling! Oh Angel, look at her. She’s precious,” Alastor smiled. 

Melody started giggling, then Angel fed her the next spoon of food. “Sweetest little doe,” he smiled. Angel nearly forgot about Charlie and Seviathan, but he still couldn’t shake the bad feeling he had in his chest.


	9. Chapter 9

At the summer camp, the kids were practicing archery. While waiting for their turn, Vaggie read a letter Charlie addressed to her and Nifty. "’Dear Vaggie and Nifty, I love you both very much, but I can’t ever see you again. I’m really sorry, but when you are grown-up and very lonely, you'll understand. Love, Aunt Charlie’," she read.

“She’s dead meat,” Vaggie muttered, as Nifty picked up the bow and arrow.

“Alright, no pressure, just do your best!” Millie smiled.

Nifty fired her arrow, and shot down a bird. Moxxie took a closer look, then he gasped. “Is….is that an American bald eagle? I thought they didn’t survive down here,” he said. 

“And now you know why,” Vaggie replied. 

Meanwhile, Seviathan and Charlie returned from their honeymoon. “Mr. Addams?” asked a man.

Seviathan had taken Charlie’s last name, and he looked at the man with a glare. “What?” he asked.

“We have the hearse you ordered! Where's the body?” the man asked.

“Right there,” Seviathan said, as he pointed Charlie dragging her suitcase along. 

“But he's alive,” the man said. 

“No shit!” Seviathan shouted. 

Seviathan headed to his car, and Charlie followed him happily. “Charlie, we may be together for a while…” he started.

“All eternity, mon cher,” Charlie smiled.

“What?” asked Seviathan.

“Mio amato!” Charlie exclaimed. 

“ENGLISH!” Seviathan yelled.

“Honey?” Charlie asked.

“If I have to be seen with you, we need to make some changes,” Seviathan said.

“Changes?” Charlie asked.

Before Charlie knew it, her hair was dyed black and she was in a green dress that matched Seviathan’s suit, and the couple were at the new mansion Seviathan bought. “Be careful! These are quality things. They're from Ebay!” Seviathan shouted, yelling at the movers. “Charlie, get over here!” he screamed.

Charlie ran over, which wasn’t easy since she was wearing five inch heels. “Sweetie, do you think these clothes are really me?” she asked.

“Of course not. That's the point,” Seviathan answered. 

“Where do you want this?” a mover asked, holding up a painting. 

“The third floor bathroom,” Seviathan replied. 

“I’m his wife!” Charlie smiled, as the mover walked away. “Seviathan? Give me a kiss?” she asked. 

“Give me a twenty,” Seviathan replied. “Hey! Watch it asshole, that chandelier costs more than your family!” he screamed, before walking off to go yell at the mover even more. 

Back at the Addams house, Angel was lying in bed while Alastor was reading a letter they got from Charlie. "The trip was amazing. I wish you were here, and I can never see you again. P.S., Seviathan says hi’," Alastor read, before throwing the paper down. “I don't understand. For weeks not a word, and now this!” he shouted. 

“Bambino, come to bed. He can't be serious,” Angel said. 

“What did I do?! What did I say? Why does my sister despise me?” asked Alastor. 

“Al, Charlie loves ya,” Angel said, attempting to reassure his husband. 

“I'd do anything for her. If she asked, I would tear out my own heart! I’d crawl through hot coals and broken glass if she said the word!” Alastor exclaimed. 

“Why wait?” Angel smirked. 

“Has Charlie gone insane?!” Alastor asked. 

“Al, calm down. It’s a phase. Post-honeymoon malaise. It’s totally normal! Soon it’ll pass and Charlie’ll be back to her old self,” Angel replied, before he paused a moment. “Ya remember our honeymoon?” he asked. 

“That wonderful cruise,” Alastor smiled.

“No arguments,” Angel said. 

“No cares,” Alastor continued. 

“No survivors,” Angel finished, as Alastor got by his side. 

“Mon Ange…” he whispered, before tenderly kissing Angel’s hand. “I adore you more than afterlife itself. You’re far too perfect for this world. A true goddess; and I intend to worship you until I die again,” Alastor said, as he kept kissing along the spider’s arm.

“Damn…” Angel breathed, smiling at every kiss. “Ya have such a way with words, tesoro. And ya still want me after all these years? The old ball and chain?” Angel grinned. 

“Forever,” Alastor purred. 

“I’ll go get them,” Angel replied.

Alastor smiled, then Angel seductively got out of bed and went to find the ball and chain. “Je suis l'homme le plus chanceux de l'enfer,” he muttered.

Alastor had been hoping to find something to distract him from worrying about Charlie, and nothing would be better for that than an evening with his favorite person in the world.


	10. Chapter 10

The campers were sitting in the bleachers while Millie and Moxxie stood before them. “Alright, everybody! The jamboree is two weeks away, and we have a lot to do,” Moxxie started.

He and Millie kept talking, but while they did, Vaggie, Octavia, and Nifty were sitting under the bleachers. “Hey….I don’t want to freak you out, but at your aunt’s wedding, I thought of something,” Octavia said. She took a few trading cards out of her pocket and handed them to the girls. “Schizos and Serial Killers. I have nearly all of them. I’m only missing the Axeman of New Orleans and the Zodiac bastard. Anyways, I wanted to show you this one,” she explained.

She showed the girls a card that had a man on it, and he looked strangely familiar. “The Black Widow. Remind you of anyone?" Octavia asked.

“That’s got to be Seviathan,” Vaggie said.

“At least three rich wives...all dead,” Octavia continued.

“Oh! I don’t have that card! Can I trade you?” Nifty asked. 

“That depends. What’ve you got?” Octavia asked. 

“Lizzie Boredon!” Nifty answered. Octavia smiled, and the two of them traded cards. 

“Each year, we like to finish up our summer with a very special presentation,” Moxxie explained.

“And Moxxie writes the script and song for the whole thing! That’s how you know it’s good,” Millie smiled. Moxxie blushed at the compliment, then went back to announcements.

“And this year, I came up with something pretty neat! My own salute to this cool holiday on Earth! A show about the first Thanksgiving. We both put a lot of planning into who was right for the leading role of Sarah Miller, our beautiful and kindly pilgrim lady, and we have selected...Velvet Buckman!” Moxxie exclaimed.

“FUCK YEAH!” Velvet cheered.

“And her co star Pocahontas will be played by a little girl who we think could really benefit from this fun experience! Vaggie Addams!” Millie smiled.

Vaggie heard that from under the bleachers, and her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, WHAT THE HELL DID THEY SAY?!” she shouted.

Meanwhile, Angel, Alastor, Molly, Husk, and Melody rang the doorbell to Seviathan’s mansion, hoping to see Charlie. As soon as they did, a maid opened the door. “We wanna see Seviathan and Charlie,” Angel said. 

“Mr. Seviathan! You have guests!” she yelled.

“COMING!” Seviathan shouted, as the maid rushed off. 

The Addamses looked around the house, disgusted by all of Seviathan’s terrible decor. “Al….where are we?” asked Angel, as he clutched Melody closer to his chest.

“It looks familiar. Oh wait! Double hell,” Molly said.

Just then, Seviathan appeared on the stairway, with a smug look on his face. “Welcome to my home,” he said. 

“May we see my sister?” Alastor asked. 

“No. She doesn't want to see you. Any of you, or that,” Seviathan replied, pointing at Melody. 

“Well why the hell not?!” Angel asked.

“Because she's in love. She finally knows what it means to have someone, and she's been wrapped in a blanket of ecstasy. Plus she fucking hates you,” Seviathan said. 

“Whatever for?” Alastor asked. 

“You flaunted your love before her! You kept her a child. I've made her a woman,” Seviathan grinned.

“Let me hear this from her own mouth!” Alastor shouted. 

“Her mouth is busy! It is every night actually….but fine, I’ll check with her,” Seviathan said. He looked off to the corner, where Charlie was balled up on the floor. “Do you want to talk to these people, baby doll?” he asked. 

Charlie looked at him, and shook her head no. “Go away, Alastor!” she yelled. 

“That is not my sister!” Alastor exclaimed.

“Sorry,” Seviathan shrugged.

“Ya fuckin enslaved her. Ya got Charlie under some weird fuckin sexual spell. I kinda respect that a little, but can we please see her?” Angel asked. 

“Nope,” Seviathan answered.

“Ya went too far, Seviathan! Ya married Charlie, destroyed her spirit, and took her from us. I could forgive ya for that. But Seviathan…” Angel started. 

“What?” Seviathan asked.

“What’s this ugly ass shade of green ya painted ya walls? Like seriously, what the hell?” Angel asked. 

“That’s it! Get the fuck out of my house! And if you come back, you’re all getting arrested! Right, Charliekins?” Seviathan asked, giving his wife a smile. 

“Right!” nodded Charlie. 

Alastor and Angel left with Melody, but Molly walked over to Seviathan. “Luxor, nexor, burst, and burn!” she shouted.

“What is she doing?” Seviathan asked.

“Just a curse. Have a nice day!” Molly smiled, before she and Husk left as well.

Soon, the Addams family was at the police station, and Alastor was talking to Loona, a disinterested police officer. “I demand justice! Someone has married my sister!” Alastor exclaimed.

“Wow,” Loona deadpanned. 

“He took her on a honeymoon! They have moved into a large, expensive home where they make love constantly,” Alastor continued. 

“Damn, I hate it when that happens,” Loona nodded.

“Arrest him at once without delay!” Alastor ordered.

“Who?” Loona asked.

“Seviathan! My sister’s husband, the siren of the Pentagram!” Alastor shouted.

“Who the fuck are you? What the fuck are you? Who moved the damn rock?” Loona groaned.

“Madame, you must issue a subpoena. I believe they own…” Alastor started. 

“Alastor, no!” Angel exclaimed. 

“A Buick!” finished Alastor.

“Just leave. Leave quietly. Leave now. Don't make me call the fucking Ringling Brothers,” Loona said. 

“Has the planet gone mad?! My darling sister... passion's hostage. I seek justice! Denied! I will not submit. I will conquer. I will rise! My name is Alastor Addams, and I have seen evil! I have seen horror! I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!” Alastor shouted. 

“They're at camp,” Angel added. 

“I have seen all this, Officer. But until today, I had never seen...you!” Alastor yelled.

Loona sighed and rolled her eyes. “Hook him, book him, cook him. Now!” she shouted.

Meanwhile, Seviathan was at the passport office. “Next in line,” the attendant said, as Seviathan stepped up.

“Hey there, I'd like to renew my passport, please. I'll be leaving the country very shortly,” he said. 

“Traveling alone?” the attendant asked.

“Yep. I'll be a widower,” Seviathan grinned.

The attendant raised an eyebrow, but figured it was better not to ask questions. Once all was said and done, Seviathan headed back home, a smile on his face.


	11. Chapter 11

At the summer camp, all of the campers were rehearsing for the show. Millie was looking over Velvet in her pilgrim costume. “Awww Velvet! You’re so cute! Mox, come look at this!” Millie called. 

Millie turned, and noticed Vaggie, Nifty, and Octavia trying to take her phone. “Hey! What are you doing?” she asked. 

“We were calling the FBI,” Vaggie said. 

“Their aunt's in trouble,” Octavia added. 

“You just can’t take people’s phones! Plus you three are late for your fittings,” Millie replied.

“I don't want to be in your dumbass pageant,” Vaggie stated, as Moxxie walked over. 

“Hey! I worked hard on this! I haven’t slept in eight days!” he exclaimed.

“Come on! Moxxie realize his vision!” Millie smiled.

Vaggie sighed and looked at Moxxie. “Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character, or the Aristotelian unities. Plus it’s cheesy as fuck,” she said.

“Hey! You know, I’m getting sick and tired of your attitude!” Moxxie shouted.

“Everyone, campers!” Millie called, causing the kids to gather around. “I have a great idea! Vaggie, Nifty, and Octavia just never quite latched on to the Chippewa spirit. Neither have a few other kids,” she said, as she motioned to some of the kids playing the indians. “Isn't that just sad?” Millie asked.

“Yeah!” the campers agreed. 

“Don't we just hate that?” Moxxie asked. 

“Yeah!” shouted the campers.

“Don't we wish they'd fucking die?!” Velvet added. 

“Hell yeah!” the campers cheered. 

“No! We do not want them to die. But you know what we'll do with them?” Millie asked, before looking back at the three kids. “We're gonna make an example. We’re gonna show that anyone, no matter how goth or boring or short, can still have a great time! Whether they like it or not,” she finished.

“What are you going to do with us?” Octavia asked.

Soon the three of them were back in the harmony hut while Moxxie and Millie set up a television. “This is just what you kids needed! ‘Frozen’, ‘Air Buddies’, and ‘Full House’ to start with,” Moxxie smiled. 

“Fuck off,” Vaggie said. 

“She's only a child!” Octavia exclaimed, motioning to Nifty. 

The first movie started, and Vaggie squeezed Octavia’s hand. “Don't worry. We're getting out of here,” she said.

“But...it's Disney,” Octavia replied, already falling into the trap. 

Vaggie, Nifty, and Octavia were in the cabin all day, watching cheesy movies and television shows. When it was finally dark, the kids stepped outside, where the rest of the camp was waiting for them. “So? Is there anything you'd like to say to everyone?” Moxxie asked.

“Yeah,” Vaggie nodded. 

“And what’s that?” Millie asked. 

“I'm not perky,” said Vaggie. 

“That's for damn sure,” Velvet muttered. 

“But I want to be,” Vaggie added. 

“You…...you do?” Moxxie asked. 

“I want to smile and sing and dance and be Pocahontas in Moxxie's vision,” Vaggie answered.

“Honey, do you really mean it?” Millie asked. 

Vaggie’s lips started to twitch, then to everyone’s surprise, she smiled. All of the campers gasped and took a step back. “Awww! Isn't she pretty?” Millie asked.

“She's fucking scary!” Velvet shouted.

Millie smiled and hugged Moxxie tightly. Now that Vaggie was in good spirits, things just had to work out for them.

Back at the Addams’ mansion, Molly walked into Melody’s room and screamed at the top of her lungs. Alastor and Angel rushed over. “Molls! What is it?” Angel asked. 

“Stay back! Melody….she’s very sick,” Molly replied. 

Alastor and Angel walked over and looked in the crib. Staring up at them was a baby with curly brown ringlets in her hair, bright green eyes, and smooth peach skin. Essentially, Melody looked human. “My baby!” Angel gasped, as Alastor fainted behind him. 

Later, the family gathered around as Molly recited a spell over Melody. “Lumbar, dison...pox and thither, curad, brattle, bone and brine!” she exclaimed. Nothing happened, and Melody just giggled. “Bone and brine!” Molly repeated, with nothing happening again. “Well, she's stubborn. It works on cats,” said Molly.

“You know damn well it doesn’t!” Husk shouted. 

“What do we do?” Angel asked. 

“Is it hopeless?” Alastor asked, as Molly frantically looked through her spellbook. 

“Here it is! Chapter five, infant possessions," she said. 

“Our daughter is possessed?!” yelled Alastor. 

"’Warning signs include severe alterations in appearance and personality. These alterations can become permanent’," Molly read. 

“Permanent?! Those little curls?” Angel gasped. 

“Those rosy cheeks?” Alastor asked. 

"’These terrifying changes are most often the result of a troubled family life. Such as separations'," Molly continued. 

“Separations! You mean Charlie!” Alastor exclaimed. 

“Yep! Ya little girl knows that something is wrong around here. Unless Charlie comes back…...we're talking dimples,” Molly explained. 

“Not in this house!” Alastor shouted.

“She could stay this way for years. Forever! She could be a doctor,” Molly said. 

“I refuse to listen!” Alastor returned. 

“A lawyer,” Molly continued. 

“Molly, cut it out!” Angel yelled. 

“A late night talk show host!” Molly finished, as Melody giggled happily. 

“No!” Alastor exclaimed, as he fell to his knees “Please! If you’re listening, I beg you! Take me instead!” he cried.

Angel got beside Alastor and hugged him, in an attempt to comfort him. They had to do something. For their baby’s sake.


	12. Chapter 12

The day of the Thanksgiving pageant finally arrived. Parents were sitting in the audience while Moxxie and Millie happily stood onstage. “Each summer we take this occasion to celebrate a seminal event in Earthly history,” Moxxie explained. 

“This year, we depict perhaps the most important day in their past….the first Thanksgiving!” Millie smiled. 

“A day for maize, the Native American word for corn, a terrific turkey dinner, and brotherhood! Now, give it up for our talented campers!” Moxxie exclaimed. 

A group of children came out, dressed as turkeys and vegetables. Nifty was a turkey, and she was ready to lose her mind. The campers sang a song about how eager they were to be eaten, much to the parents’ amusement.

Meanwhile, Seviathan was crying in his room, practicing looking sad in front of a mirror. “Thank you. All of you. It was such a tragedy,” he said, before smiling to himself. “Damn, I really should have been an actor,” he muttered. 

He set up a bomb, and put it inside of a present. He carried it over to the kitchen, where Charlie was working. “Baby doll, I'm going out for just a minute. I forgot the champagne,” he said. 

“Sev, it’s our three-week anniversary! I'll go!” Charlie smiled. 

“No, I couldn’t! You're working hard enough. I'll just put your present on the table. Don't peek!” Seviathan said, as he placed the box on the table. 

“Oh, please, please! What is it? Is it crayons?” Charlie asked.

“You never know!” Seviathan grinned. 

“Oh! Is it a dog toy?” asked Charlie. What neither of them knew was, Thing was at their window, spying on the two of them.

“You’re just going to have to wait and see,” Seviathan replied.

Charlie grabbed the box and shook it, then her eyes lit up. “It's a bomb!” she exclaimed.

“What?!” Seviathan shouted. 

“I know, I know, wait for later,” his wife smiled. 

“Charlie...let me look at you,” Seviathan said, as he pulled Charlie into a hug. “I want to remember you just this way,” he said. 

“What do you mean?” Charlie asked, as Seviathan let go. 

“Rich. Will you miss me?” he asked, as he started walking off. 

“But you'll be right back, won't you?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah!” Seviathan answered, as he picked up his suitcases and walked out the door. 

Charlie smiled and happily ran back to the kitchen.

Back at the summer camp, the show was getting close to it’s grand finale. Velvet stood onstage with the other pilgrims, a fake smile on. “I am so glad we invited the Chippewas to join us for this holiday meal. Remember, these savages are our guests. We must not be surprised at any of their strange customs. After all, they have not had our advantages, such as fine schools, libraries full of books, and most importantly, shampoo,” she recited. 

At their cue, Vaggie, Octavia, and the other kids playing Indians walked onstage. Vaggie was still smiling, and it still made people uneasy. “How. I am Pocahontas, a Chippewa maiden!” she exclaimed. 

“And I am Running Bear, betrothed to Pocahontas,” Octavia said. “In the play,” she added hastily. 

“We have brought a special gift for this holiday feast,” Vaggie smiled, as Nifty walked on. 

“I am a turkey. Kill me,” she deadpanned. 

“What a thoughtful gift! Why, you are as civilized as we, except we wear shoes and have last names. Welcome to our table, our new primitive friends,” Velvet said. 

“Thank you, Sarah Miller. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Your hair is the color of bright roses during a dark night, your skin is like a polished stone, and everyone loves you,” Vaggie smiled. 

“Aww, stop it! Sit,” Velvet replied. 

“Wait. We cannot break bread with you,” Vaggie said, finally dropping the smile she had held for so long.

“The fuck are you doing?” Velvet asked. 

“You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, ‘Do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller’,” Vaggie said.

“Moxxie, she's changing the words!” Velvet shouted. 

“And for all these reasons, I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground,” Vaggie finished.

At that, the children playing Indians started to attack the ones playing pilgrims, and they began burning down the set. “Children! Campers! Calm the fuck down!” Moxxie shouted.

While most of the other pilgrims ran away, Velvet was tied to a stake. Parents ran away in horror, apart from Stolas and Valentino. “This is probably your daughter’s fault! That little freak needs to learn some manners,” Valentino growled. 

“My daughter is not a freak! This is because of that little bitch you raised!” Stolas returned. 

“Velvet has more talent in one finger than that gothic slut of yours has in her whole body!” Valentino shouted.

As they argued, Octavia went behind the bleachers and loosened a few planks, causing Valentino’s side to collapse to the ground. Stolas laughed when the moth fell, and Octavia smiled before ran off before running off before her father saw her. 

Velvet was still screaming, so Nifty shoved an apple in her mouth to keep her quiet. Two campers shot flaming arrows at Millie and Moxxie, which the couple narrowly avoided. Pies were launched at any parents left in the audience, and pilgrims were sent flying into the lake. Gasoline was poured around Velvet, and Vaggie slowly walked over to her. The last thing the doll saw was Vaggie lighting a match.

Elsewhere, Seviathan was partying in a club, before he remembered Charlie at home with the bomb. “Hey! Any of you know what time it is?” he asked. 

“Six twenty-five!” a woman answered.

“Fuck, I have to go,” Seviathan sighed.

“Awww, why?” asked another woman. 

“It's my anniversary. Wait here, ladies. I'll be right back,” grinned Seviathan. 

“Your wife must be such a lucky girl,” a woman sighed.

“Don’t say that!” Seviathan shouted, before leaving the club.


	13. Chapter 13

At Seviathan’s mansion, Charlie was sitting alone at the table, the ticking present across from her. “Cheers,” she said softly. 

Seviathan parked his car outside of the house, and waited. “But, Officer...my wife was in that house,” he rehearsed. Seviathan began laughing to himself. Soon Charlie Addams would be gone for good. 

Back inside, Charlie was practicing herself. “Happy anniversary, Seviathan,” she smiled, holding up a champagne glass. After she did that, the bomb went off.

Seviathan had watched the entire time, and he laughed as soon as he saw the explosion. “Ha! Yes!” he cheered. He stepped out of the car and admired his handiwork, a sadistic grin on his face.

“Honey!” shouted a voice. Seviathan turned and saw Charlie walk out of the remains of the house, completely fine. “Did you get the champagne?” she asked. 

“Freeze!” Seviathan shouted, as he pointed a gun at her. 

“....sweetheart?” Charlie asked.

“I tried to make it look like an accident. I tried to give you some FUCKING dignity, but, oh, no, not you,” Seviathan said. 

“What are you saying?” Charlie asked. 

“I want you dead, and I want your money!” growled Seviathan. 

“But--But...don't you love me?” Charlie asked. 

Seviathan couldn’t lie anymore; he burst out laughing until there were tears in his eyes. “Is that a no?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, do I love you. Look at yourself! You're a freak. You're a delusional bitch living in some fantasy world. You shouldn't be married. You should be studied! You're a stupid, scrawny, weird thing. No ONE in their right mind could love you!” Seviathan yelled. 

As he was talking, Thing drove over in the Addams’ car and used it to hit Seviathan. “Thing!” Charlie smiled, before she jumped in the car with him. 

The two of them drove off, but Seviathan got up from the ground and shot at the car. “I'll get you! And your little hand, too!” he called. 

Back at the summer camp, now that almost everything was in ruin, Nifty and   
Vaggie were finally able to escape. Vaggie climbed over the fence, and she looked at Octavia on the other side. “Come with us,” she said. 

“I can’t. I have to go back. For the others,” Octavia replied.

“You're very brave,” Vaggie said.

“I also want to watch the place burn. Go on, Vaggie. Save your Aunt,” Octavia said. 

“But I might never see you again,” Vaggie replied. 

“I know,” Octavia sighed, nodding sadly. 

“There are forces tearing us apart--Velvet, Seviathan, a fucked up school system,” Vaggie said. 

“I'll never forget you,” replied Octavia. 

“You won't?” Vaggie asked. 

“I can’t. You're too weird,” Octavia teased, causing Vaggie to chuckle, comething she rarely did. 

“We'll always have today and Chippewa,” she said. 

“And this,” Octavia added, as she held something up. 

“What is it?” Vaggie asked. 

“Velvet’s retainer,” Octavia answered, before she let it fall to the ground. “This may come off as….sudden but….I really like you, Vaggie,” she said, a light blush on her face. 

Vaggie blushed for a moment as well. “I really like you too, mi amor,” she returned.

The two of them kissed one another through one of the gaps in the wire fence, only pulling away when Nifty honked a car horn. “Come on!” she called.

“I’ll miss you,” Vaggie said, before she got in the car with Nifty. 

Octavia waved goodbye, watching as the sisters drove away. 

Meanwhile, at the Addams house, Angel was reading to Melody, who still appeared more human than demon. "’We looked, then we saw him step in on the mat. We looked, and we saw him--the cat in the hat’,” he read, before looking down at his daughter. “Are ya enjoying this?” he asked, causing Melody to babble happily. “To think...a kid of mine,” Angel muttered, before he went back to reading.

"’I know it is wet, and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun, that is funny’," the spider continued. He skipped to the end of the book out of curiosity, then let out a sigh. “Oh, no. He lives,” he said.

Just then, Molly frantically threw open the door to the nursery. “Come quick! It's Alastor!” she exclaimed. 

After laying Melody back in her crib, Angel and Molly hurried to the other room. They found Alastor lying in bed, singing to himself. “Swing low, sweet chariot. Coming for to carry me home,” he sang.

“My baby is sick and my husband is dying. Molly, what do I do?” Angel asked. 

“Well, ya have a black dress,” Molly replied, offering a nervous smile. 

Alastor started to cry, and Angel reached down to hold his hand. Suddenly, the door swung open, and Charlie hurried in. “Alastor!” she exclaimed. 

“Charlie!” Molly and Angel gasped.

“Charlie? Where is Charlie?” asked Alastor.

“She's right here, bambino,” Angel answered.

Charlie kneeled by the bed. “It's me, Alastor. I've tried to be someone I'm not. And I feel awful about it,” she said. 

“But you belong to Seviathan. You're Seviathan's beloved wife. You are Mrs. Seviathan!” Alastor shouted. 

“I am an Addams!” Charlie yelled. 

“Charlie!” Alastor smiled, before pulling his sister into a loving hug. 

As they embraced, Nifty and Vaggie walked in. “Aunt Charlie!” Nifty exclaimed. 

“Girls!” Charlie smiled.

She let go of her brother and hugged Nifty, but Vaggie lingered back. “You sent us to camp. They made us sing,” she stated. However, Vaggie couldn’t stay mad for long. She ran over and joined the hug. 

“It’s good to be back,” Charlie whispered, before letting go. “I missed you all so much!” she exclaimed. 

“Finally. Our family is together again. Three generations above ground,” Angel smiled. 

“In-laws!” shouted a voice.

Seviathan was standing in the doorway, holding a shotgun. “Nice to see you all!” he smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

Soon, Seviathan had every member of the Addams family, apart from Melody, who he just couldn’t find, firmly strapped to an electric chair. “I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't enjoy hurting anybody. I don't like guns or bombs or electric chairs, but sometimes people just won't fucking listen! So I have to use persuasion...and slides,” Seviathan explained, before he turned on a slideshow, and a couple appeared.

“My parents; Bethesda and Frederick. Generous, doting...or were they? All I ever wanted was a green bike. That’s it. My birthday. I was ten. And do you know what they got me? A MOTHERFUCKING BLUE BICYCLE!” Seviathan shouted.

“The nightmare,” Angel said. 

“The nerve,” Alastor added.

“That's not what I wanted! That's not who I was. I liked green! They had to go,” Seviathan said, before cutting to a slide of his childhood home on fire.

While that was going on, no one knew that Melody had reverted back to her normal, demon self, and was grabbing one of the knives off of her mobile.

Seviathan cut to another picture, one of a hellhound. “My first wife, Crymini, the heart surgeon. All day long, coronaries, transplants….” he began. 

“What about ya needs?” Molly asked.

"’Sorry about dinner, Sev. It’s post extermination day; I have work’," Seviathan said, before cutting to a photo of him headed to Crymini with an axe. 

“An axe! That takes me back,” Molly said, smiling wistfully.

Meanwhile, Melody had escaped from her crib and was crawling down the hall, looking for her family. 

“Wife number two. Stella, the noblewoman. She loved her people. She loved her territory,” Seviathan explained, as he cut to a picture of an owl demoness. 

“What about Seviathan?” Molly asked. 

"’Sorry, Seviathan. No Lamborghini this year. We have to set an example.’ So I said, ‘SET THIS, WHORE!’" Seviathan shouted, before showing a photo of Stella after she was hit by a car.

Seviathan grinned before cutting to a photo of Charlie. “My latest wife. My late wife Charlotte,” he said.

“The fool,” Charlie muttered.

“The idiot! And her adorable family. You took me in. You accepted me. But did any of you love me? Really love me?” Seviathan asked. 

“Hands!” Alastor shouted, only since everyone’s wrists were strapped down, no one could raise them. Although it wasn’t as if they really wanted to. 

Out in the hall, Melody slid down the banister, still searching for her family. 

“So yeah. I killed, I maimed. I destroyed one damned soul after another! Aren't I still a person? Don't I feel and...hurt and shop? Don't I deserve love...and massive piles of money? Also beer?” Seviathan asked. He went over to the lever on the wall, ready to turn on the electric chairs. 

Angel turned to Alastor. “Addio, tesoro,” he said softly.

“Au revoir, mon amour,” Alastor replied. He and Angel held hands for what they were sure would be the last time.

“Seviathan! let them go. Take me and my money. I don’t deserve anything after what I did!” Charlie pleaded. 

“Sorry! It’s a package deal, baby doll,” Seviathan grinned, just as Melody crawled into the room. “Goodbye, everybody! Wish me luck,” he said. 

“Good luck,” said the family.

Seviathan flipped the switch, and electricity travelled through the chords along the ground. Melody babbled as she connected two chords together, sending the current back Seviathan’s way. “Oh fuck!” he shouted. 

He was shocked by a bolt of electricity, and quickly reduced to ashes, with nothing left but his hat and his credit cards. 

“Well done, Melody! That’s my girl!” Alastor smiled, as Melody giggled on the floor.

Sometime later, it was Melody’s first birthday. Charlie smiled as she carried presents to the main room. “A birthday party! It’ll be amazing! And to think I might have missed all this. What was I thinking of?” she asked. 

“Sex,” Vaggie answered. 

“Right….” Charlie replied, with a nervous smile. 

“Aunt Charlie, do you miss Seviathan?” Nifty asked. 

“Well, sometimes, late at night. I remember how he'd turn to me and say "’For fuck’s sake, Charlie, go back to your room’," Charlie said.

Just then, Mimzy, Arackniss, and their baby What walked in. “Hello! Are we late?” Mimzy asked. 

“Not at all! We're just getting started,” Charlie smiled. 

“I hope no one minds. We brought along a guest,” Mimzy said, as a pink haired cyclops stepped inside.

“This is our new nanny! Her name is Cherri Bomb,” Nifty explained.

Charlie looked at Cherri, instantly smitten. “Cherri Bomb…..that’s such a nice name,” she said. 

“Thanks! It’s the name of a cocktail,” Cherri smiled. 

“My name's Charlie! It’s really nice to meet you,” she said.

“Yeah, you too,” Cherri replied, clearly taken by Charlie as well. 

During the party that night, Alastor decided to have a toast. “A toast! To the wonderful mysteries of existence. To the wonderful gift known as family. To mirth, to merriment, to manslaughter. To old friends. To new friends. To youth,” he said, his eyes landing on Vaggie and Octavia.

“Do I look stupid?” Octavia asked, wearing a tight black dress like Angel’s. 

“No. Cute and kinda creepy maybe, but definitely not stupid,” Vaggie answered, making Octavia smile.

“To passion,” Alastor continued, as he turned to Angel. 

“To paradise,” Angel replied.

“To pain,” Alastor said. 

“Tonight,” Angel whispered.

The two of them were on the verge of kissing, but Molly walked in, carrying Melody. “Make way for the birthday girl!” she smiled.

“Thing, will you do the honors?” Alastor asked. 

Thing lit the candle, then Husk cracked his knuckles and tried to play “Happy Birthday” on the organ.

Later, Octavia and Vaggie were walking through the cemetery together. “Your family is really interesting. In a good way,” Octavia said. “Your parents are so….involved with each other. To put it lightly. Vaggie, do you think someday you might want to get married and have kids?” she asked.

“Not sure,” Vaggie answered.

“But what if you met just the right woman. Who adored you, who would do anything for you. Who just….well, you know, someone who just really loved you. What would you do?” asked Octavia.

“I’d have a few questions for her,” Vaggie teased, making Octavia smile.

The two of them approached Seviathan’s grave, and Octavia sighed. “Poor Seviathan. He was sick,” she said.

“He wasn't sick. He was sloppy,” Vaggie replied.

“What do you mean?” Octavia asked.

“If I wanted to kill my wife, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught,” Vaggie said.

“How?” Octavia asked.

“I'd scare her to death,” Vaggie stated.

“No, you wouldn't,” Octavia said, before kneeling by the grave. We're all very sorry, Seviathan. We wish you only the best,” she said.

Just then, a hand came up from the grave and latched onto Octavia’s wrist. “AHHH! AHHH!” she screamed. 

Vaggie laughed, satisfied with Octavia’s scream. “Alright, alright, Thing! Let her go,” she said. 

Thing crawled out of the grave and let go of Octavia’s wrist, then scurried off towards the house. “You bitch,” Octavia said, only there wasn’t any malice behind it.

“You’re lucky I like you so much. Otherwise I would have scared you to death right there,” Vaggie replied.

“Lucky me then,” Octavia smiled, before kissing Vaggie on the cheek.

Vaggie smiled back, then the two of them walked hand in hand back to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that ends this parody! And no, I couldnt just let Vaggie scare Octavia to death lol
> 
> I might be doing Corpse Bride or Book of Life next, but let me know if you have any ideas! Thank you all for reading! 💖


End file.
